Together—they paved the way so we could find ours

I can’t think about Father’s Day without thinking of my mother, my parents together. I don’t think one would’ve survived without the other raising kids and dogs. They were literally teenagers when they married in 1950. They had no money, no mentors, no guidance how to navigate this joint venture they were about to take. My mom had three kids by age 23. There was no time for complaining; they took on their responsibilities and quickly morphed into adults. No whining about scrimping by; they were resilient. They grew up during the depression and learned eat what’s in front of you, if it’s in front of you. We recycled clothes with our three cousins’ long before recycling became common language. My mom’s garden fed us all summer long; they were the best tomato and lettuce sandwiches on white bread with mayo (or butter if you had it). It was planted with care and intention, not as an organic trend. She was feeding us, teaching us how to survive. Dad told the story about the time when workers at his manufacturing plant went on strike and he couldn’t cross the picket line. He had no work. So, he went fishing. He told us we survived on fish and water; he got us through without missing a beat. We were clothed, fed and had a roof over our heads. Honestly, I can’t remember going without. We didn’t have everything others had, but we had enough. Enough was enough, we didn’t need more.

My dad died in 2019, my mom followed two years later, both just months shy of their 87th birthday. They were married 69 years, but really 71. That bond couldn’t be broken; that energy was shared even beyond death. Not many stay the course, I certainly didn’t. They stuck it out, in good times and bad. All the while without knowing they were leading by example and perhaps merely through osmosis us kids absorbed some of these strengths needed to survive this crazy thing we call life. 

Through my eyes, Father’s Day is a day of gratitude to both my mom and dad, grateful they replaced themselves on the planet by creating me, my sister and my brother. Giving us life so that we might experience it armed with the ability to thrive no matter what bumps in the road appeared. To know we could always find a way to get through most anything. Thanks for the lessons, the memories and knowing the simple enjoyment of a tomato and lettuce sandwich.